Here he is with his out of breath, side holding laugh.
Below are the words I said at his memorial service on Saturday the 20th. Sandy Peirce held her hand at my back to give me strength.
Phil, my love, my rock, by stabilizer…my honey.
You were the light of my life
I will look no further.
You were a son to be proud of, watching over your dear
Mother and pappy with a true son’s love.
Caring, shopping, loving… just being there for them.
You even helped build our home. Your parents home. You told me you were using a pick axe on the quartz rock in the back while a teenager. You got to a point where you told Pappy you could go no further. He said, “Well, we’re done then.”
So the back concrete patio has always been stepped. Then, later, you got to watch your son, Derek, build a deck to finish that area off. The circle was completed.
You were a father-in-law so grateful that your daughter, Dana, was protected, loved and deeply cared for in a strong relationship.
You were a son-in-law to my parents that made them proud.
They knew that you loved me deeply…. And that was all that mattered.
You were a ‘tough love’ grandfather to your Ben.
You could apologize. Much better than me. What a man.
What a strong man.
You were always studying your spirituality… growing learning and
Sharing. Politics, the world situations and 2012 were always at the forefront. And you would talk to a post if you thought it would help.
The kids,
They will always be the kids. Thank you for my children.
They were the light of your life… our lives. You loved them
With a fathers heart that would get mad at them
When they erred or you burst with joy on their successes.
Your love for them was pure and innocent.
If your grandson, Ben, tries to attain your goodness,
Even if it is only halfway, he will be a raging success.
Your innocence, your childlike love
Of everyone and everything.
You pointed out the rainbows to me,
The aspen in the fall, the snow capped Sierras.
The robins on the toyon, the bossy blue jays,
Even the barking squirrels. You would pull me away from the computer to watch the morning sunrise.
You shared your spirituality with me and all who cared.
Oh, you will be missed.
Friendship.
You made friends so fast and easily that it made my head spin.
Anyone who was lucky enough to be your friend knew it. They really knew it. Your face would light up with a smile
So bright when you would set eyes upon them.… they felt your warmth
Surround them with pure love. They could hear it on the phone.
They loved you so much they would tease you and
Pick on you…. And you would love it and giggle or give it right back.
You would laugh so hard you would hold your sides and run out of
Breath. I loved tickling you to that point.
I will miss your old hands, your telling me you were
The ugliest man in all of El Dorado County. I will miss
Us holding hands in movies, walking down the streets of
Placerville, Killarney, Ireland…and the cobbled alleys of Barcelona. How you protected me at every moment in our lives.
How we would fight and make up.
No matter how loud we shouted…. It was because we cared.
You hated it when I told you you were cute.
You were an awesome sculptor who made what you wanted,
And stopped when you didn’t want to do it anymore. I treasure our
Stonework you made.
I will miss your unadulterated joy on the high rough waters
of a Mediterranean storm. The painful walk through the Vatican you took;
You with your bronchitis and horribly bad back … in the rain. And then our giggling like
Kids because we used the Basilica bathrooms.
Maybe your leaving us will remind people to be nicer to
Each other more often. You never know when a loss will occur.
I feel sorry for those who knew you not. Who only
Looked for surface beauty in friends, for you had a depth that,
Even I, could not fathom.
They missed the essence of your being,
And I will miss it forever.
Regretfully, I must let you go.
We must let you go.
I will look no further.
You were a son to be proud of, watching over your dear
Mother and pappy with a true son’s love.
Caring, shopping, loving… just being there for them.
You even helped build our home. Your parents home. You told me you were using a pick axe on the quartz rock in the back while a teenager. You got to a point where you told Pappy you could go no further. He said, “Well, we’re done then.”
So the back concrete patio has always been stepped. Then, later, you got to watch your son, Derek, build a deck to finish that area off. The circle was completed.
You were a father-in-law so grateful that your daughter, Dana, was protected, loved and deeply cared for in a strong relationship.
You were a son-in-law to my parents that made them proud.
They knew that you loved me deeply…. And that was all that mattered.
You were a ‘tough love’ grandfather to your Ben.
You could apologize. Much better than me. What a man.
What a strong man.
You were always studying your spirituality… growing learning and
Sharing. Politics, the world situations and 2012 were always at the forefront. And you would talk to a post if you thought it would help.
The kids,
They will always be the kids. Thank you for my children.
They were the light of your life… our lives. You loved them
With a fathers heart that would get mad at them
When they erred or you burst with joy on their successes.
Your love for them was pure and innocent.
If your grandson, Ben, tries to attain your goodness,
Even if it is only halfway, he will be a raging success.
Your innocence, your childlike love
Of everyone and everything.
You pointed out the rainbows to me,
The aspen in the fall, the snow capped Sierras.
The robins on the toyon, the bossy blue jays,
Even the barking squirrels. You would pull me away from the computer to watch the morning sunrise.
You shared your spirituality with me and all who cared.
Oh, you will be missed.
Friendship.
You made friends so fast and easily that it made my head spin.
Anyone who was lucky enough to be your friend knew it. They really knew it. Your face would light up with a smile
So bright when you would set eyes upon them.… they felt your warmth
Surround them with pure love. They could hear it on the phone.
They loved you so much they would tease you and
Pick on you…. And you would love it and giggle or give it right back.
You would laugh so hard you would hold your sides and run out of
Breath. I loved tickling you to that point.
I will miss your old hands, your telling me you were
The ugliest man in all of El Dorado County. I will miss
Us holding hands in movies, walking down the streets of
Placerville, Killarney, Ireland…and the cobbled alleys of Barcelona. How you protected me at every moment in our lives.
How we would fight and make up.
No matter how loud we shouted…. It was because we cared.
You hated it when I told you you were cute.
You were an awesome sculptor who made what you wanted,
And stopped when you didn’t want to do it anymore. I treasure our
Stonework you made.
I will miss your unadulterated joy on the high rough waters
of a Mediterranean storm. The painful walk through the Vatican you took;
You with your bronchitis and horribly bad back … in the rain. And then our giggling like
Kids because we used the Basilica bathrooms.
Maybe your leaving us will remind people to be nicer to
Each other more often. You never know when a loss will occur.
I feel sorry for those who knew you not. Who only
Looked for surface beauty in friends, for you had a depth that,
Even I, could not fathom.
They missed the essence of your being,
And I will miss it forever.
Regretfully, I must let you go.
We must let you go.
I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful person to have known and loved.
Thank you for sharing this post.
Dear Lorren
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
Take care
Lorrene,
ReplyDeleteWe (Paul and I) just heard today about your husband's passing. I had only met him a few times briefly, so I appreciated reading the words you spoke at his memorial. What a wonderful man. I'm so, so sorry for you loss.
Ruth
Peace and love be with you. Thank you for sharing your deep felt words. I'm sure he did more than his share. We will be preparing 2012 together.
ReplyDeleteXO
Angela